February 2008

25 Signs That, Sadly, You’ve Grown Up

25 Signs That, Sadly, You’ve Grown Up

  1. Your house plants are alive, and you can’t smoke any of them.
  2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question.
  3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
  4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed.
  5. You hear your favorite song on an elevator.
  6. You watch the Weather Channel.
  7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of hook up and break up.
  8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14.
  9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as “dressed up.”
  10. You’re the one calling the police because those damn kids next door won’t turn down the stereo.
  11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.
  12. You don’t know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.
  13. Your car insurance goes down and your payments go up.
  14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonalds leftovers.
  15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.
  16. You no longer take naps from noon to 6 PM.
  17. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one.
  18. Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 AM would severely upset, rather than settle your stomach.
  19. You go to the drug store for ibuprofen and antacid, not condoms and pregnancy tests.
  20. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer “pretty good stuff”.
  21. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time.
  22. “I just can’t drink the way I used to,” replaces, “I’m never going to drink that much again.”
  23. 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.
  24. You drink at home to save money before going to a bar.
  25. You read this entire list looking desperately for one sign that doesn’t apply to you and can’t find one to save Your sorry old ass.

Fox TV Stations Fined for Indecency

WASHINGTON (AP) - Regulators on Friday fined 13 Fox TV stations $7,000 each for a 2003 episode of “Married by America” that included graphic scenes from bachelor and bachelorette parties.

The Federal Communications Commission had initially proposed a $1.2 million fine against 169 affiliates of Fox Broadcasting Co., a division of News Corp., that aired the since-canceled reality show. But, under a new policy, the agency said it would only fine stations in markets where viewers complained.

Last week, the FCC fined 44 ABC Television Network stations a total of $1.2 million over a 2003 broadcast of “NYPD Blue.” The agency is focused on a scene in which a boy surprises a nude woman as she prepares to shower. ABC is owned by Walt Disney Co.

In the “Married by America” ruling, TV stations in Des Moines, Iowa; Nashville, Tenn; Detroit; Washington; Minneapolis; West Point, Miss.; Greenville, S.C.; Yakima, Wash.; Charleston W.Va.; Lansing, Mich.; Roanoke, Va.; Kansas City, Mo.; and Tampa, Fla. face fines totaling $91,000.

“Fox strongly disagrees with the commission’s conclusions in the notice and we will be actively considering our options,” Scott Grogin, the company’s senior vice president of corporate communications said in a statement. He declined to comment further.

In issuing its order, the FCC rejected arguments from Fox and its affiliates that no fine was warranted since the agency’s indecency standard is unconstitutional - and the episode in question didn’t even meet the indecency test.

The six-episode “Married by America” introduced a cast of single men and women and allowed viewers to match them up by popular vote. Five matched couples then went through some rituals of dating, and some whipped cream, but none married.

Fox also said some images found to be offensive appeared on-screen for 10.5 seconds.

The hour-long episode in question featured explicitly sexual scenes from bachelor and bachelorette parties.

In its order released Friday, the agency said “by any reasonable definition” many of the activities at the parties constitute sexual activities and the scenes also depict sexual organs.

“While it is true that the nude female breasts and buttocks shown were pixilated, the commission has never held that the full exposure of sexual or excretory organs is required to satisfy the first prong of the broadcast indecency standard,” according to the FCC order.

It’s the second time in a month the FCC fined a TV network for episodes aired in 2003. The FCC has a five-year statute of limitations for pursuing such actions.

Source

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